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Sam Barrett

31 Jan 2025 — 1 min read

3 BED, 2 BATH IN LITTLE RHODESIA, MARIE BYRD LAND-

Ideal single-family home in charming new settlement in rapidly expanding frontier. Elegant plantation style design recalls heights of American greatness. Settlement amenities include shopping mall, sports stadium, temperature-insulated golf course, and round-the-clock monitoring from contracted PMC. New arable farmland rapidly opening day-by-day for prospective farmers. (Temporary labor equipment required to undergo regular decon to cleanse flesh of disease.) Exterior temperatures on cold side but quickly warming.

On-site garage large enough to accommodate personally-owned SUV, APC, or surplus tank. Home situated convenient forty-minute drive from nearest KinderStor™ facility. DoctrineWafers personally verified by HOA to ensure no subversive history or ideology present. Roomy basement/fallout bunker rated up to five years for Class D thermonuclear exchange or eight years for Class C. Projector on ‘exterior’ deck preprogrammed with licenses for multiple fantasy scenarios, including Antebellum, Colonial, Fief, and ManifDestiny.

All meals prepared by indentured cooking equipment, previously head chef at three-star restaurant in Bangladesh. Service kitchen installed with sound-dampening tech to reduce potential inhabitant discomfort. Indenture contract expires on Jan 17, 2083, but equipment projected to decrease in usefulness at or around 2081. Further equipment can be procured through Little Rhodesia Labor Office.

Adult residents in Little Rhodesia required to perform 1 weekend/month mandatory community service. Service may entail laying mines, running diagnostic on drone fleet, or clearing vermin from surrounding area. Firearm experience recommended, as is desensitization to sound of screaming.

(Blacks, cripples, Muslims, sexual deviants, unmarried women, communists, and those with sympathy to prior need not apply.)

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Four Stories About A King

On Removing Someone's Skin

Detrans Solidarity, or: Why The Damage Must Be Irreversible